terça-feira, 19 de abril de 2011

It’s (Almost) Easter Break!

Hey, everyone!

Only two more tests and I’m FREE! I just can’t wait to be done with all these tests. I generally like doing tests (such a nerd…), but Easter Break is just around the corner and I feel like resting and being a bit unproductive for a change :)

Last weekend was pretty fun. Like I told you guys on my last post, I went to the “PUC por um dia'” event on Friday, which was really fun. I went to 5 (!) different lectures:

10-11am : Writers Degree

11:30-12:30am : Journalism

1pm : French Culture

3pm : Letters Degree

4pm : Translation

Lines were incredibly long, I spent the whole day stading on my feet, I barely had a break – I had less then 15 minutes to eat lunch, since I had to run across the campus to find the location of the “Letters Degree” lecture – and by 5:15pm I was about to pass out, I was SO exhausted!

But (thankfully) it was all worth it. The lectures were pretty amazing (except for the Journalism one… there were too many people there and the lecturer, who was supposed to explain at least a little bit about the Journalism course, spend almost 40 minutes showing us their website. How useless is that?! We’re from the internet generation, ‘fella! We could’ve seen your website by ourselves, at home), I met some cool girls and boys from schools all over Rio, and I really enjoyed myself. I guess I could say “PUC por um dia” was a sucess :)

Although, I couldn’t really make up my mind. I’m freaking out because I don’t know whether to choose Letters or Journalism. Journalism or Letters. S.O.S, people! I need HELP!

I mean… not really. Don’t worry, I’m not so desesperate as I sound :)

But I’m really indecisive about this. Luckily, I have at least one and a half years to decide… thank God. Hahaha.

Anyway. Moving on to Saturday…

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I dressed up as Tinkerbell… How original am I? Hahaha.

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We all had a blast. My favorite costume was definitely my “white-haired” friend’s – he dressed up as Albert Einstein!

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Gotta love making fun faces :)

I’ll leave the deets for a future post… Let’s move on the the eats!

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Gotta go back to chemistry and literature…

See you guys as soon as I get back from my Easter Break trip!

;)

XOXO

G.

quinta-feira, 14 de abril de 2011

Feeling Like Myself

Hello, everyone!

As I told you before, I’m in the middle of test week… And tests have been pretty tough so far! I just hope Math Test on Monday is easier. (Pretty pretty please? Haha)

Anyway, as we’re visiting PUC (Pontifical Catholic University) tomorrow for the “PUC por um dia” event… Friday tests have been CANCELED! I’m SO glad I don’t have to worry about Maths, History, Geography, Chemistry or any subject for that matter today :)

“Un cadeau de la providance”, really! (FYI: that means “a gift from God”… right Gabriela?)

So I finally found some free time to write a real post. I’ve been wanting to share this for a while now, but… In my New Years resolutions, I decided to make the most out of 2011. But at that time, my idea of “enjoyment” were parties, meeting new people, doing stupid things, becoming more popular… you know the drill.

What happened, though, was that I found out I was wrong.

First, “making the most out of 2011” could mean many things. Of course, parties and some irresponsibility could be a part of it. But… I’d be lying to myself.

I was never that girl. You know her – that girl who loves to party, to drink, to have fun; who’s irresponsible and carefree.

During my ED days, I was the complete opposite. I was the responsible, hard-working, restrained, shy and quiet girl.

The thing is, my family took a long time to notice that. Because I was always responsible. I’ve always loved to study. I’ve always had good grades. And I’ve never cared about being the center of attention – although I actually remember being pretty confident as a kid. And I liked my body – which I’m still working on nowadays.

But since I’ve had EDs on and off since I was 11, my confidence vanished. All I cared about was being perfect, in every sense of the word. I was struggling and fighting against an “invisible” enemy – my own brain.

Luckily, ED is each day a smaller part of my life. Of course I’ve had many ups and downs – but I’ll keep fighting until it’s gone. I want to – I have to.

I’m getting my life back. I feel like myself again. I joke, I laugh, I enjoy my friends’ company, I’m no longer as obsessed about perfection as I was once before… But I still study. I still love to spend some time alone. I still love to stay home at night (what? I never said I was normal… haha).

I’ve truly learned a big lesson on the last few days. I might like to study, get good grades, do nerd-y things, sleep early and watch movies at home with my Mom and Lelê on Friday nights… But that’s just ME. Not ED. I am who I am, and I can’t change that. I love to be who I am – and I wouldn’t have it any other way :)

Hey, maybe I’m not partying, doing crazy stuff, kissing boys like there’s no tomorrow and drinking booze like the other girls… But that doesn’t mean I’m not having fun while watching “Startrek” with my best friend, reading a book about the Russian Revolution by myself or dancing to Black Eyed Peas’ song “I Gotta Feeling” with my baby sister in my room. I’m just… a bit different. I am… myself. Nice to meet you ;)

Some eats (to make this post a little more colorful, haha):

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I guess that’s all… I promise to enjoy tomorrow as much as I can and take as many pictures as possible :)

I hope you’re all having a great week – see you soon!

XOXO

G.

domingo, 10 de abril de 2011

Rio

Hey, guys!

I said I’d be back, so here I am… I’ll be posting as much as I can from now on :)

Today was actually fun. I woke up pretty early (I actually thought I’d wake up around noon today, because I was REALLY tired yesterday), so I decided to do something useful. I finished “Noite na Taverna” for literature class and checked in Fro-Yo Lover Blog’s twitter.

We didn’t have much to eat and I was the only one awake (plus Baby Mig… he doesn’t count, though), but as I was kind of hungry, I ended up eating two tomatoes.

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(Yep, I eat tomatoes like I eat apples… only I love to add BBQ sauce and ketchup to my tomatoes, haha.)

Then, Mom bought us all tickets to see “Rio” – me, Bruna and Lelê. Before leaving, by noon, I had a “snack” of all sorts:

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Sliced Banana plus 1tbsp of rolled oats

“Rio” was pretty amazing. I loved it! It was funny, cute, and everything I hoped it would be. They did a great job showing what Rio’s all about – at least during Carnival ;)

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After the movie, I was HANGRY. So me and Lelê went straight to Boomerang Mix, a restaurant I personally love. I ordered the same thing I always do - “Make Your Own Salad” with a glass of Iced Tea.

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Pineapple and Mango on the side ;)

Mom and Bruna arrived a little later, too. We all ate and chatted. After that, I went to the grocery store and then finally back home. I spent the rest of the day studying, so I’m pretty exhausted right now!I had something “light” for dinner because I’m going straight to bed. But don’t worry – tomorrow’s breakfast will make up for it ;)

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Yogurt+Fiber One

I hope I can study more tomorrow – and, most importantly, focus more! Gabriela’s right – being from the Twitter and the Facebook generation is pretty hard! I have to stop procrastinating and start being more productive. Tomorrow will be 100% filled with study! Plus a yoga class I’m attendind at 1pm, haha. But you get the point ;)

I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try to post tomorrow night. Who knows – I just might end up doing a post on what I’m studying ;)

Have a great (test) week, guys!

XOXO

G.

sábado, 9 de abril de 2011

Saturdays Are Not School Days

Hey, everyone!

I guess I took too long to post again…

I should be honest. I wanted advice. I actually had a few things in mind to post (like, the day after my last post), but I decided to wait. I wanted to read more comments so I could make up my mind.

THANK YOU, guys. Seriously, your comments were awesome. I don’t even know what I’d do if I didn’t have you :)

I decided to wait. I won’t make my Mom go to court and ask for my guard or anything, but I won’t call him or go to his house either. He’ll have to be the one to apologize this time. And if he doesn’t… well, too bad for him, right? All I know is that I have to move on. Crying over spilled milk is a big waste of time.

Anyway, onto more exciting news… I went to school today (on a Saturday)!

Ok, that’s not exactly exciting. I know that. But, in theory, it would be fun. Sophomore and Senior students would attend lectures based on what career they’d like to follow (in Brazil, you have to choose which field do you want from the beginning).

I heard lawyers and publicists. I actually wanted to know more about Journalism and Languages (in Brazil, we call it “Letras” course), but the journalist who’d talk to us never came. Too bad…

I was always interested about law. I mean, history, geography and english (in my case, portuguese)? All my favorite subjects in one single career?! AWESOME!

But being a lawyer isn’t what I want.  At all. I wanted to write for a living. I was born this way, baby ;)

Today was kind of fun, though. Gotta love thinking about the future!

Now, since I spent so long without posting… here’s photoload!

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photo 3 (30)

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I promise I’ll try to post more regularly – it’s just that next week’s test week for me, so it’ll be pretty rough for me to study+blog (plus breathe, eat, rest… haha). But I’ll do my best!

Have an awesome (rest of) weekend!

XOXO

G.

sábado, 2 de abril de 2011

Don’t You Ever Touch Me Again

Hello, everyone.

I’m sorry I waited until today to post – but I had to. I was going to post yesterday about my city tour (school project) and my latest tests (chemistry, sociology… let’s just forget about that stupid math test for a second), but as I was about to leave to my Dad’s house, I decided to finish that post later. Everything’s changed now.

Let me clarify. Or even better, let me tell you a story.

My parents got divorced on 2000. I was 5. It’s funny how I never really suffered to see my parents apart – I always thought they’d be better off alone. They used to fight quite a lot, so when we moved out it was no big deal (emotionally-wise).

Me and my sister went to live with Mom. We moved to a neighborhood far away from our home with Dad – about an hour away. A few months later, Mom met Stepfather (thank God for that, btw), which was pretty amazing. I always loved him, even though him and Mom went through some rough times. They now have 2 kids together (Lelê, who’s 5, and Baby Mig, who’s 6 months-old), and 2011 marks they’re 11th anniversary (even though they’re not actually married). I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by all these wonderful babies and this beautiful family – stepfather’s definitely (an important) part of my family.

Dad-wise, we always lived far from each other. I used to go to his house every 15 days. But I feel like it’s been an eternity since we were really close – now’s just all about fights and screams. No fun, no fun at all.

Anyway, I was on Dad’s car last night, with him and my sister Bruna. They started a discussion about the “Meet and Greet” ticket most artists sell so the fans can take pictures, meet them, have their CDs signed, etc. All of a sudden, when I decided to share my opinion, Dad cut me out, screaming at me the way he usually does. But I had decided I would not let him talk to me like that – not when I hadn’t done anything wrong. Is it wrong to say: “Dad, I agree with you when you say it’s absurd for a fan to pay in order to meet his favorite singer while the fans are actually the reason why every artist gets to perform, but… (he didn’t let me finish)”?

So I said: “Calm down, Dad! I was just sharing my opinion. You don’t need to scream at me. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

To which he replied: “CALM DOWN?! YOU JUST TOLD ME TO CALM DOWN?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO?!”

And then he hit me. My left arm turned red and then purple instantly, and I couldn’t feel anything but deep pain.

This happened before. Twice. Mom and Dad had already fought over this same subject. The last time it happened, I blogged about it.

But this time’s different. I didn’t disrespect him, like he said I did. And, even if I had disrespected him, he has no right to hit me. I’m 16 now, and I won’t let him do this to me ever again. Never again.

When I was little, he used to hit our hands until they were bright red, seething with pain. I always thought it wasn’t fair, but I never complained. I thought every father did that.

Now I know that’s not true. I know now that it is possible to raise a child without hurting her physically (or emotionally, by the way). Personally, after all I’ve been through, I vowed to never hit my children like my Dad did. I can ground them, talk to them, argue with them. But hurt them? Nope, never.

To make a long story short, I called Mom to tell her what happened so she could tell me if I was right or wrong (I thought I was right, but everyone at Dad’s house was screaming at me, saying me and my sister were rude, disrespectful, etc… I couldn’t make my mind up), and she was really pissed off. She tried to call Dad, but he ignored all her calls. So Mom called Grandpa (her Dad) to see if he could pick me up – unfortunately, he was out of town. She called me again saying she’d pick me up first thing in the morning. I spend the whole night crying, and asked my sister to sleep by my side. I was scared of my father’s reaction. I thought he might come back to argue/hit me again. It was awful.

I couldn’t sleep properly, and even though I went to bed at around 2am, I was wide awake by 8am. I waited for Mom in bed until noon, when she called to tell me she was almost there, and that I should get ready to leave.

The last time I talked to him was last night, before the “incident”. Since then, he didn’t talk, text or call me. I decided I wouldn’t be the first to call, so I’ll probaly have to wait a little while until he decides to contact me.

Grandpa said he would talk to my father as soon as he gets back from his trip, and Mom said I wouldn’t go back to his house until he starts seeing a therapist.

I’m a mess. Seriously, I don’t know what to think.

We were never too close, at least not after I moved out when I was 5…

But this? It’s just too much for me. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick and tired of being treated this way, specially because he never hurted my sister (who lives with him). Only me, who sees him rarely and for a short amound of time. I just don’t get it.

I’d love to know you guy’s opinions on this subject…

If you’re a Mom, have you ever hit your children? If you’re not – are you against it? Do you think that hurting your kids physically can be helpful while raising them?

And, most importantly… What would you do if you were me?

Just curious. And confused, I guess.

Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer today, guys… I didn’t mean to, and I completely understand if you skip this post. I promise I’ll post again tomorrow to show you some food pics, funny stories and hilarious pictures. No more Dad talk, ok? I swear.

Thanks for being always so comprehensive and sweet.

XOXO

G.