sexta-feira, 17 de setembro de 2010

Living, Leaning (And An Announcement)

Hello, people!

So… I know I’ve been MIA for quite some time, but… It’s actually helping me a lot. Not worrying about taking pictures and writing down every morsel of food that goes into my mouth down my throat makes a world of difference. I’m learning how to be more carefree, less stressed and less picky.

Stressing over food is… ridiculous, actually. I mean, it’s so incredibly simple… You eat to live. Food is fuel. Of course it’s fun fuel, but it shouldn’t really be nothing more and nothing less then that. Food is necessary… to keep us alive.

The most important thing I’ve learned these last few weeks was that there is more then food out there. Food’s just a detail. Life shouldn’t revolve around food. I mean, of course, if it’s a healthy relationship, that’s not a problem at all. If you’re a chef or a R.D., maybe your life DOES revolve around food. But, if you’re a healthy person, you know when and where to stop. You know the limits and boundaries between your personal life, friends and family, and your way of cooking/eating. You control your food – not the opposite.

Anyhow – it’s funny how sometimes things are just meant to be. I woke up thinking: “I know what’s missing. I need to do change things a bit, do something new. I need to challenge myself, somehow. But… how?”

Behold, during a conversation with two of my closest friends at Math class, I hear one of them asking: “Who wants to go to the mall at lunch time? We could have Stuffed Baked Potatoes for lunch at English Potato. Or strogonoff! Gosh, I love strogonoff. Who’s with me?”

The last time I had eaten a stuffed baked potato was… maybe two years ago or so.

I knew I had to say yes. And I knew that I needed to face my fear, get over it. Baked sweet potatoes were fine (I actually might have developped a bit of an obsession here… Ops. I love sweet potatoes, haha!), but regular baked ones? Out of limits. Prohibited. Out of my comfort zone.

And what did I do?

I ate a strogonoff-stuffed baked potato. It was the size of my head, and unfortunately I could barely make a dent in it… But, still. I ordered it. I ate it. I was having fun with my friends… And not obssessing about what I was eating. Guess what? It felt amazing. So worth it.

Anyway. I promise I’ll be back with more stories and experiences during my recovery path, but as I’m in test week… I’m sorry for beeing so distant, guys. But, believe me – I still read your comments, and I still love all of them! Thank you so much for keeping in touch with me. I’m such a lazy busy girl – I have no time answer you back, comment on your blogs… I read them everytime I can, but that’s unfortunately not as often as I’d like.

As soon as I’m done with my tests, I’ll get back to business. Pinky promise!

“THE” ANNOUNCEMENT

Guys… Guess what?

I mean… guess WHO?

For those who said baby Miguel… Congratulations!

My baby brother was borned on September 11th (I know… the terrorist attack day), at 11:47am. I was at my Dad’s house, so I only arrived at the hospital by 3pm. It was a nightmare – all I wanted was to be by my Mom’s side and to meet the newest boy of the family. I cried for hours, until I got there. It was such a beautiful moment, though, when I got there. When I saw him for the first time, I knew. I’m truly, madly and deeply in love with Miguel!

He’s the cutiest thing I’ve ever seen. Seriously. And he’s so tiny! I’m always worried about hurting him on accident. He looks so fragile… And cute…

I’ll let you guys judge by yourselves…

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C’mon.

What’s NOT to love?!

His name is Miguel Eduardo. He’s 6 days old. But most importantly – he’s the love of my life!

I’m pretty sure that all my future posts will include at least a tiny note or a pic of baby Miguel. Unevitable, haha.

Again, I promise to keep in touch with you all!

You’ll be hearing from me again soon…

Wish you all a magnificent weekend!

XOXO

G.

quarta-feira, 1 de setembro de 2010

Cette Fois, C’est Different

Salut, mes amis!

As you can see, I’m in a very french mood right now…

Hahaha – I have SO many things to share!

Let’s see…

- the National History Olympics have officially begun! Me and my team passed the 1st phase, and the 2nd one is on until tomorrow- I´m so excited!

- my baby brother is on his way! Mom went to the doctor today, and everything’s ready for the big day :)

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- my portuguese composition was chosen! Technically speaking, I WON the competition! Me and a few other students had their composition picked to be a part of a book by SINEPE (an institution that represents all schools in my estate – Rio de Janeiro). M. Marília (the directress of my school) came to congratulate me, and now all my teachers are coming to me to say how happy they are for me. YAY!

Well… I guess those are the top 3 news.

Yippie, right?

Besides, I´ve been:

- studying a lot

- hanging out with my friends as often as I can (YAY for “carefree-ness”!)

- taking food pics (I plan on stopping this soon… seriously)

- trying on new workouts, like hydrogymnastics

But, most of all, I´ve been trying to focus on my recovery.

It´s harsh. Everybody knows it. I knew it.

Yet I did not know it would be so… unstable.

I just read Fi’s post on her recovery path these days… And Jessica’s…

And I often feel the same way. More often then not, I feel that recovery is not worth it. I have really bad self-image right now, and I’m constantly “double-checking” just to make sure I’m still thin. To see if my clothes are still ridicously big on me. If my size 0 pants are still falling to the ground. It’s actually pretty ridiculous.

I WANT to recover. But it seems like wanting is not enough – I need to do something about it. To keep my eyes on the big prize: heath (as my gorgeous friend Gabriela says).

I feel like I’m beeing such an hypocrite all the time. And… maybe I am.

I mean… talking and writing about it is the easy part. But the real deal, the EATING part? That’s another story.

I’m so sorry to bother you all with my personal issues. But I need to let it out somehow – I know that the fault is all mine. Not my Mom’s. Or my Dad’s.

Actually, they’re the good guys. They only want me to be happy. And even after all this time, they didn’t give up on me. How incredibly kind is that? “Incondicional love” does exist, people. I know that now.

Anyhow… I just feel that I should really take this whole thing more seriously. I don’t want to hear from people around me that I look like a 11-year-old little girl anymore. I want to grow, to have my period back, to have my healthy glow back, my “voluptuous” butt back…

I do. I do. I do.

Please, let me know if you guys have any ideas. I feel like I have started this whole thing with the wrong foot. I wanna do it right… And I might need some help.

On a happier note… Life without calorie-count is AMAZING. Seriously, I’ve never felt so free before. I might have a long way to go… But I finally took the first step!

Let’s see what we have in here, photo-wise…

WOW. Get ready…

GO!

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Baked Sweet Potato, Baked Beans, Grilled Chicken, Sautéed Spinach, Egg Farofa

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Pineapple Popsicle

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Pear (x40.000.000.000)

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Mango (x99.999.999.999.999.990)

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Grilled Chicken, Steamed Veggies

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Papaya Slice

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Toast with Requeijão, Skim Milk with Chocolate Powder

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Medium-Sized Plain Fro-Yo with mango and pineapple as toppings

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Apple (once or twice a day, sometimes more)

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Spinach Quiche, Chickpea Salad, Tabouli Salad and fresh OJ

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“There’s a cat in my backpack!”

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Sushi-filled plate, ginger, raw veggies and pineapple

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Sashimi hand rolls, sashimi pieces (salmon, tuna, white fish, grilled tuna)

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Cute sushi rolls

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Pear+Mango= LOVE

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Caprese Tower, Spinach Quiche, Tabouli Salad

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Vegetable Calzone

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Medium-Sized Plain Fro-Yo – with pineapple and mango

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Carrot-Ginger soup with Whole Wheat Cracker

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Lunching with Grandma!

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Veggie Focaccia

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Fresh OJ on the side

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Goat Cheese Soufflé Salad for sharing

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“Holy YUM, Grandma!”

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Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese Baguette for her

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Zucchini Bread – bought for later on!

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It tasted amazing, by the way… :)

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Just the usual…

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Salad: cherry tomato, grated beets and carrots, broccoli, cauloflower, heart-of-palms, turkey breast, buffalo mozzarella and gorgonzola

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Beet Pie, Grilled Chicken, Black Beans, Farofa

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Leftover Pesto Cassava Gnocchi

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Toast, Cottage Cheese, Apple

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My usual quiche combo with a side of Iced Tea

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Salad from Frontera’s buffet

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Dessert: pineapple and mango

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Baked sweet potato and pumpkin, tomatoes, grilled chicken, beets, farofa, black beans

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Toast+Cottage Cheese, chocolate powder with skim milk

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The usual quiche combo with a side of fresh OJ

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Baked sweet potato and pumpkin, tomato slices, farofa and black beans, two turkey meatballs

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Sweet Potato, Pumpkin, Black Beans, Farofa

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Turkey Breast and White Cheese Calzone

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Pineapple slices 

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“Summer Plate” at Vegetarian Rio

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Grandma’s Feast – pasta, black beans, cassava, heart-of-palms, chicken, spinach pie

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Turkey Breast and Ricotta on a Whole Wheat Bread anf Fruit Salad on the side

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Mango, Pineapple, Papaya. Layered :)

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Mango, blog-style cut :)

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Hard-Boiled Egg, Veggie Quiche, Grilled Veggies…

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Plus take #2, because Mom told me to

Wow. I’m so sorry – this is just a mess. To be honest, it seems like this whole post was all over the place. I guess I just had way too many pics to share. And this is only about half of them! Eeeeek, hahaha :)

Anyway… I guess this is it. I’be coming back soon, to update you all on my “recovery status”…

Oh, guys. I can’t thank you enough.

Thanks for reading, commenting, writing me back… I really appreciate it.

Wish you a wonderful evening!

XOXO,

G.