domingo, 3 de outubro de 2010


Hello, guys!

Wow. Much has changed since I last posted. For the better, obviously :)

I can now finally say that I no longer take pictures of my eats.

FINALLY! YAAAAAY (insert happy dance here)!

Seriously, it wasn’t so easy. Actually, it wasn’t easy at all. I’ve had a rough time stopping myself. But the point is… I did.

I feel SO much better now! So much more… free.

Dessert is not forbidden anymore. Same goes for afternoon snacks.

Mom is helping me… A LOT. Gosh, how I love my Mom… she’s honestly my biggest inspiration.

She’s now trying to cut down her meals a little bit in order to loose those last few pounds from her pregnancy. Miguel is almost a month old now, so she started going out for (small) walks around our neighborhood. She can’t leave the house for more then 30 minutes or so though, because either the baby starts crying or milk starts flowing from her breasts. It’s a no-win situation :P

I can understand that. I mean, not seeing my Mom eating as much as she did can still make me feel a little weird about myself. But she’s always encouraging me, saying things like “I don’t need those calories as much as you do! In fact, you need twice as much.”

So I guess it won’t be that hard :)

On the school front, test week is over. My results were great in every subject… expect for Physics.

Gosh, I feel so guilty. I was so nervous before all my Physics exams, so I made tons of stupid mistakes… I mean, I had studied beforehand! I had studied a lot!

Oh, well. I guess all I can do now is wait for the upcoming tests… And do my best :)


I wanted to discuss something with you guys. About… beeing picky.

Let’s just say that everyone around me thinks I’m nuts.

I’m not even kidding – while everyone is eating pasta with sausage and shrimp risotto for lunch and lemon pie for dessert, I’m heating up my plate with a baked sweet potato, sautéed spinach, roasted pumpkin, a hard-boiled egg, some farofa and about 2 tbsp of black beans. After lunch, when everyone else is choosing between lemon pie or ant cake, I’m secretly waiting until they leave to take a pear out of my fridge.

Whenever I go out, it’s always the same. “Oh, does it come with veggies? Look, Gabriela – it’ll suit you perfectly.”

I’m the “different” one. I’m the weird, freak-y daughter/sister/grandaughter/niece.

Mom and Dad say I should eat “normal food”. But I do! I mean… I may love fruits and veggies a little bit too much, but that’s what I like to eat! That’s what makes me feel better and that’s what I feel it’s good for me.

I mean… I know I need to gain weight, but why does it have to be the “old-school way”, as Dad would say? Why do I have to stuff myself with chocolate bars, candy and ice-cream? Why can’t it be “my way” – eating more but eating healthy?

That discussion confuses me a lot. At the same time that I think they’re beeing unfair and antiquated, it got me thinking. What if “eating healthy” means eating what ED wants me to? Could it be a way to keep my old behavious above suspiction?

I’m either right or wrong.

Should I keep eating what my body craves (deemed “healthy food”)?

Are they right? Is it true that I’ll never gain weight and be healthy-minded without “regular food”? Is it the “old-school method” the only way?

Help me out, people. I need some advice :)

Anyway, thanks (once again!) for all the nice comments you’ve left about baby Miguel. He IS the sweetiest little thing. I love him oh! so much :)

Some pics from the last few days (I went on a trip to São Paulo with my friends from school! It was SO FUN!)…


Still at home, with baby Mig:“Oh, baby… Don’t cry…” took by Lelê (it’s her finger up there)


At INPE, with friends


Pretending we were making a speech


At the Football Museum, in São Paulo


Making fun faces… part I


Part II


Bored at the bus… Kinda, hahaha.

So… yeah. That was pretty much it :)

Thanks for reading, loves!

See you soon!



5 comentários:

  1. For me, eating the "right" foods was a huge part of my ED. I would rationalize it, and say well it is healthy, no problem right?? But the truth is you have to chalenge these thoughts and self imposed rules. They will get in the way of your recovery if you don't address them. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to do it with candybars 6 times a day, but you should by no means restrict yourself from a candybar every now and then! It will get easier to know what you really want vs. What ED wants as you progress in recovery, promise :)

    Stay strong! Praying for you!


  2. I thought that I don't really like those foods, like pies, cakes, chocolate, ice cream...that I don't need them. But honestly, as I started eating them, I saw how much I've been missing out. Yes, fruit is awesome, so are veggies, and I love eating them every day, but also, I love eating chocolate, and having ice cream, and sharing cake with my bf. I think you should just try and eat those foods, and see whether you like them or not. Ed's can be deceiving, and convince us that we don't like something that we actually do.

  3. The whole healthy eating thing is though.. it's okay to treat yourself when other people are around! If you feel like having cake, have some! It's just the eating disorder that makes us feel horrible if we grab a piece of cake. I really know exactly how you feel. My parents are eating cupcakes while i'm almost silently pouting and eating grapes. It's not exactly picky eating, it's just the eating disorder trying to control us again.

  4. Sounds like you're doing a lot better... keep up the hard work! Hope your mom and Miguel are adjusting to their new life :-)

  5. That looks so fun!!

    In my opinion, if you have to gain weight, do it the way YOU want to and not the way people are trying to make you. In my experience, I was told that I needed to gorge myself on chocolate bars and cake to gain weight but these things never seemed very appetising to me.

    It IS possible to gain weight while eating healthy nutritious foods. You just got to eat more than you "need" in order to do so. Basically, eat what YOU want but more of it :P