quarta-feira, 23 de dezembro de 2009

The Penny Has (Finally) Dropped

Yes, you read it right.

The penny dropped.

And you know why?

I realized today´s December 22th. In only 33 days, my granpa will weight me.

And, if I´m not about 100lbs, I´m simply not going to Boston. Or NY.

Which means I´ll be wasting the trip of my life just because of a stupid “food shield”.

And you know what?

I really don´t care about it anymore.

All this time I wasted worrying about my body image, the calories of the things I ate, the number os the scale… nobody noticed.

People would only start to notice when I was kinda obsessed. And a lot thinner.

Is it fair?

No. It´s not. But that´s how life is. You can´t help it.

YOU have to be happy with YOURSELF. YOU have to feel good about YOURSELF.

Nobody else matters. Because, let´s be honest. You simply cannot change your way of living just because you want someone to like you. In this case, appearance is NOT everything. In fact, it´s nothing. The most chubby girl in the class could be the most wanted by boys. Beeing thin doesn´t make people like you more or less. And I´ve leaned that.

So, why am I wasting my time with all this crap? I mean, I should feel great about my weight. My body. My appearance.

Which means, from now on, the countdown begins. I have 32 days to gain about 10 pounds. And in a healthy way, of course. Remember the part about beeing ok with yourself? I don´t want to be the chubby girl anymore. I want to be…

Me. An ordinary almost-15-years-old girl. Loved, hated, whatever. Just normal.

Ok, then. Let´s see how I went on my first attempt to gain weight, not fat:


Yeah. May seem kinda disappointing.

This is 1 piece of spinach+carrots+corn pie with lettuce and sliced tomatoes.

But wait!

This is only the beginning…


I´ve had about 4 tbsp of black beans, too.

And, as dessert…



- 1/2 of plain natural yogurt

- 1 crumbled Nature Valley “Honey+Oats” granola bar

It is a step, right? A step forward.

(Ok, a baby step forward. Whatever. At least I´m trying!)

Well, that´s it. Or almost it…

The other thing is, I´m in such pain. My back hurts. It has something to do with my muscles or something… but the only thing I know is that I´m so sore. And tired of standing still, not beeing able to lean over stuff. Or to lay back. GRRRR.

Well, I have to go. English class will be at 10am tomorrow. Too early for me, hahaha.

Sleep tight!



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