I guess the title is pretty self-explicative. Hehehe.
So, I should introduce myself first.
I´m a teenager, and I´ve always had problems with food.
It all started when I was 11 years old. I began worring about my body image, about beeing accepted by my new friends, and stuff. So I started desenvolving anorexia.
There is no such thing as the total cure for anorexia – and I cannot lie. My family thought I was recovered by the end of 2007 /beggining of 2008, because they noticed I wouldn´t be afraid of food anymore. At least, not like I was before.
OK. So, she´s eating again. She´s starting to enjoy all kinds of food again. The healthy average girl is back, right?
Unfortunately, no. The “healthy average girl” suddenly started gaining weight. She jumped from 36kg to 58kg. Is this really normal? Avarege? Healthy?
Those 22kg were gained so quickly. Nobody noticed. But, all of a sudden, people started gossiping. Commenting the enormous gain of weight.
Nobody´s tough enough for that type of gossip. So the girl started noticing when people said that she was eating too much, or that she should try more vegetables, or that she should skip dessert. She looked at herself in the mirror once again. She hadn´t looked at herself closely since the anorexia. And she realized how different her body was.
At first, she panicked. Of course. What to do? How could she loose weight? She caught herself wishing she had anorexia again. BIG OOPS here.
Alors, it got started. Slowly, she started cutting calories. She had a real hard time at the beggining, taking baby steps, resisting to chocolates and desserts. She started loosing weight. Only people would, again, not notice.
She got used to skip the dessert. She didn´t miss it anymore. But wanted to loose weight quickly, right? And what´s easier and quickier then cutting carbs?
So she began dropping kgs (pounds, whatever). Lots of them. So quickly.
Her favourite dish became protein+salad. Or quiche+salad. She spent months and months without any rice, pasta, beans, bread, or any types of carbs. She was, again, scared of food.
It was the same thing, all over again. Only she would not count calories anymore. But that was not the only difference – this time, she could actually control what she was doing. It wasn´t something that took over her, like in the first time. She could actully control it.
Well, enough of the past. The girl from the story up here? It´s me. And that´s my story.
So, welcome to the blog from a girl who wants to gain (a little bit of) weight in a healthy way, so she´ll be able to travel to NY and Boston by the end of January 2010 and to regain her family´s trust.
In the next post, I´ll you tell how I ended up like this. With the obligation of gaining pounds.
Thanks for reading!